#cancerversary

October 1st this time last year was my very last chemotherapy appointment. 20 weeks went by so fast and so slow all at the same time. I cried at every single chemo appointment and I also cried when chemo was over. ⠀

My 5 months of regular routine was uprooted and changed yet again. No one prepares you for the change. If you've never had chemotherapy you may find this hard to understand but the cancer warriors out there will know exactly what I am talking about. How can you mourn the idea of no longer having poison injected into your veins? Yes I know it's beyond fucked up. ⠀

Today is also the first day of breast cancer awareness month so my emotions are all over the place. Not only do I have my own memories to think of but I also have a constant reminder all over every form of media that will bring up all sorts of PTSD for me. ⠀

All I can say as a recent survivor is please be gentle, when you are asking for donations please know that something that is "just a question" to you feels like a knife being jabbed into our stomach and is a constant reminder of the horror that we lived through. The absolute hell on earth at we had to over come. ⠀

Today I also celebrate. Celebrate my achievements, my strength and courage and that heavy desire to live, to fight to #FUCKCANCER⠀

Special thanks to @ballermommy @jenrozenbaum for helping me locate and track down the most badass shoes not only for this shoot but as my #cancerversary gift to myself as a constant reminder of my greatest achievement.